My Dizzy Exam

Ada kalanya sakit kepala kronis bisa sembuh tanpa obat. Dan itulah apa yang terjadi dengan gue saat ini. Ujian blok 10 selesai dan sakit kepala gue tiba-tiba sembuh. Hohoho, selamat tinggal begadang, selamat tinggal capucino pahit, selamat tinggal suara-suara aneh di tengah malam yang setia menemani gue belajar selama seminggu yang freak ini. Semua sudah selesai. Saatnya kembali hidup normal. Tidur disaat orang lain tidur, dan ga belajar disaat orang lain  belajar (lho?) :)
Inilah hal-hal ga penting yang terjadi selama seminggu ujian. Seminggu ujian, seminggu mimisan.


Day 1 (Ujian Biologi oral : Anatomi kepala dan rahang)

Malam pertama menuju ujian, gue udah diserang godaan super berat, "Big match" antara tim sepakbola favorit gue Arsenal, melawan Manchester city. Bingung antara memilih belajar dulu, atau nonton dulu. Tapi karena penasaran, gue pun akhirnya nonton. Awalnya gue menonton sambil menghafal. Tapi pertandingannya seru sekali. Arsenal mainnya sangat bagus dan mengharuskan gue untuk menjadikan buku bacaan menjadi bantal. Lupain sejenak ujian besok dan saatnya nikmati 90 menit penuh sensasi.

Sembilan puluh menit berlalu, Arsenal pun menang meyakinkan 3-0. Dan entah mengapa mood gue tiba-tiba jadi bagus. Ngantuk gue ilang, pikiran gue segar. Badan gue hangat (yang ini sih enggak hehe). Keadaan ini jelas menguntungkan.. Gue pun jadi mampu melanjutkan belajar sampai pukul tiga pagi. Tanpa ngantuk. Ajaib pisan Arsenal ini. Sering-sering aja deh menang biar mood gue selalu bagus.

Day 2 (Ujian Biologi oral : Kelenjar Saliva)
 
Huah, sudah sejak lama berharap liliput pertama menyapa, dan baru kesampaian selasa ini, walau bentuk sapaannya, bukanlah bentuk sapaan yang gue duga akan gue terima.
Saat itu gue dan teman-teman gue lainnya baru saja keluar dan ruangan ujian. Wajah gue berseri-seri penuh semangat (karena soal ujiannya lumayan mudah), tiba-tiba gue melihat dia berjalan diantara kerumunan teman-teman yang lain. Respon alami gue adalah kaku seperti biasa. Dan lazimnya, respon dia pun begitu, tapi kali ini berbeda. Dia menyapa gue.

"Haloooo!" Sapanya.

Gue cuma mengangkat ujung bibir sedikit. Pasang tampang melongo.

"Selamat ya yang baru jadian ma anak Palembang." Sambungnya.sambil berlalu.

Gubrak!!!! Ingin rasanya gue memanggilnya dan menceritakan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi. Tapi otak gue menyuruh untuk diam saja. Biarlah kenyataan yang akan bicara. Lagipula gue udah terlalu capek menjadi pemuja rahasia terus. Hhhh.
Udah saatnya pensiun menjadi pemuja rahasia.

Day 3 (Ujian Biologi oral : Morfologi Gigi dan Karies)

Mungkin ujian kali ini adalah ujian yang paling sulit. Selain jumlah soalnya yang sangat banyak, soal yang diberikan pun tidak terprediksi. Yang paling gue ingat adalah soal tentang panjang gigi molar, caninus, desidui dan permanen rata-rata. Sumpah, ga nyangka soal ini bakalan keluar. Salah satu teman gue, saking stresnya, malah bilang gini ketika ujian berlangsung.

"Zi zi!" Panggilnya.

Gue yang punya firasat si teman ini mau nanya jawaban pun langsung ngeles. "Masih banyak yang kosong ini."

"Bukan! Bukan minta jawaban."

"Jadi?"

"Minjem penggaris!."

"Buat apa?"

"Buat apalagi. Mengukur panjang gigiku lah."

Gue melengos pelan. Ga tahu apakah dia beneran serius atau bercanda. Tapi kenyataan kalo gue stress hari ini, itu memang benar. Dan bukan hanya gue, kebanyakan temen yang lainnya juga.



Day 4 (Ujian Biologi oral : Jaringan Periodontal)

Kita semua sedang ujian seperti biasa dan gue pun mendengar panggilan panggilan 30 menit sebelum ujian usai.

"Zi zi!"

Gue pun dengan hati-hati menoleh.

"No 60-68" pintanya.

Gue pun mengernyitkan kening. Berusaha mengatakan kata "APA?" tapi takut ditegur pengawas. Tapi daripada dikatain pelit, gue pun harus memberi tahu juga. Tapi gue juga mesti hati-hati jangan sampai kertas gue ditarik ma dua pengawas ujian yang sedang duduk didepan. Seisi kelas udah pada kasak kusuk. Gue belum juga menemukan timing yang pas untuk memberikan kode jawaban hingga salah satu pengawas, drg.L, tiba-tiba ngomong.

"JANGAN pandang kiri kanan. Perhatikan aja soal kalian itu."

Sebagian diam, sebagian lagi ga peduli dan tetap aja kasak kusuk meminta pertolongan sana-sini.

"Daripada kalian lihat kiri kanan, lebih bagus kalian lihat drg.A ini. Wajahnya kan lumayan."

Sebagian mahasiswa tertawa kecil, begitu juga drg.A.

"Lihatin drg.L pun boleh, dia kan juga lumayan."

Keduanya tertawa didepan sana. Kehilangan fokus mengawasi ujian. Gue pun cepat-cepat menoleh ke teman gue dan mengucapkan mantra.

"D, E, E, E, A, B, D, C" seru gue buru-buru. Ketika melihat mata kedua pengawas didepan sudah siaga kembali, gue pun berbalik ke posisi normal.

Tiba-tiba terdengar lagi suara panggilan. Gue menoleh hati-hati.

"Ga denger zi, ulangi lagi dong...!"

Gubrak!!!!!!


Day 5 (Ujian Radiologi Dental)

Gue datang kekampus dengan headset terbenam dalam kekuping dan ketika masuk kelas, inilah pemandangan yang gue lihat.

Semua sepertinya serius sekali belajar.Sedangkan gue malah dengan ga tahu dirinya enak-enakan bersantai dengerin musik plus foto-foto pula. Ini guenya yang terlalu santai atau merekanya yang terlalu serius? Jawaban yang tepat adalah, guenya yang ga waras. Hoho.

Day 6 (Ujian Biologi oral : Mukosa Mulut dan Sistem Stomatognasi)

Kalau orang lain semakin ujian akan berakhir belajarnya makin giat, gue malah kebalikannya. Udah menjelang pukul 12 malam. Sama sekali belum ada menyentuh bahan bacaan untuk ujian besok. Hebat, dan bukannya segera belajar, gue malah memutuskan tidur dengan menyetel alarm untuk berbunyi pada jam 1 pagi. Mungkin karena kurang tidur, kepala gue pusing teramat sangat. Gue pun tidur, dan alarm pun berbunyi. Tetapi suhu malam mengajak gue untuk tidur lagi, dan menyetel alarm jam 2. Kemudian gue terbangun oleh alarm jam 2, masih mengantuk, tidur lagi dengan alarm yang akan berbunyi jam 3. Begitu seterusnya hingga akhirnya gue baru benar-benar bisa bangun pukul 5 pagi. Gue belajar secukupnya kemudian shalat subuh dengan doa utama "Semoga ujian hari ini soalnya mudah-mudah." hahaha.
Dan doa orang-orang tengil ternyata kurang manjur, soal yang diberi ternyata lumayan susah. (susah karena guenya aja yang ga tahu hehehe). Maximal gue cuma jawab setengah dan memutuskan diri untuk pasrah saja sebelum tiba-tiba temen cewek gue yang duduk di samping, yang pintar, dan yang baru kali ini berinteraksi ma gue selama ujian blok 10, mengatakan sesuatu:

"Mau nanya no berapa zi?"

"hah?" Gue agak bingung tiba-tiba ditanyai seperti itu.

"Iya, no berapa yang belum keisi?" Tanyanya. Dari raut wajahnya gue udah bisa menduga kalau dia udah selesai mengerjakan ujiannya.

"Oh, " Gue merasa keberuntungan mendekat. Lima menit kemudian, lembar jawaban ujian gue terisi penuh.
Lagi-lagi gue diselamatkan oleh keajaiban.

Wahai teman-teman sekalian, walau ga sering, percayalah, keajaiban itu ada. Hohoho :)

***

Wah, ujian udah selesai, tapi senin depan udah masuk blok 11. Singkat bener waku istirahatnya (protes!) haha. Tapi ga apa-apa juga deh. Biar cepat tamatnya.
Dan satu lagi, buat yang namanya berinisial "A" dengan nama panggilan berinisal "R" terimakasih ya udah membuat gue jadi semangat nulis lagi. Terima kasih juga sms-smsnya. Lucu-lucu dan selalu sukses membuat gue bersemangat untuk menuliskan sesuatu.
Dalam waktu dekat ini gue pasti akan menulis tentang kamu.

Keep reading on this space ok!

Mari mencari keajaiban-keajaiban yang lain.

Soundtrack of my October

Saat itu sunyi senyap. Gue dan beberapa mahasiswa lain sedang sibuk mengerjakan soal ujian, nanya sana-sini, dan sebagian kecil dari mereka, termasuk gue juga sih, hanya berdiam diri menanti jawaban soal turun dari langit. Tiba-tiba temen gue disamping manggil pelan.

"Zi, zi, zi!"

Gue mencari arah suara itu dengan hati-hati. Sebelumnya, gue udah memperhatikan posisi pengawas ujian didepan sana, dia lagi asyik smsan. Suasana aman untuk menoleh kanan kiri. Ternyata Suara itu berasal dari temen gue diseberang sana.

"Apa?" Balas gue dengan suara yang dibuat sepelan mungkin.

"No 32 jawabannya apa?" Ucapnya, jauh lebih pelan.

"Hah apa?"

"No 32!"

"52? Oh bentar ya." Gue melihat lembar soal, jumlahnya cuma 50.

"Heh, soalnya kan cuma 50? Mana ada 52" Jawab gue berbisik.

"No Tiga-puluh-dua BUDEG."

Gue melihat gerak bibirnya didramatisir ketika mengucpkan kata budeg. T.T
Yah, ga ada yang bisa disalahkan, memang sudah hampir sebulan juga gue ga bisa menghentikan kebiasaan gue mendengarkan musik melalui headset dengan volume maximal. Keadaan ini diperparah dengan frekuensi mendengarkan musik gue yang selalu diatas 3 jam. Hohoho, tau ah, kuping gue udah rusak sejauh mana, habisnya musik udah sama kedudukannya seperti bernafas. Biarin deh budeg budeg. Ga ada musik seperti ga hidup. Hahaha.
Seberapa berpengaruh kehadiran musik buat gue? sangat berpengaruh. Musik membuat hidup gue yang sepi ini jadi rame, membuat suasana hati gue yang carut marut menjadi lebih terkendali, dan membuat emosi gue yang sering tertahan itu menjadi terlupakan. Bulan oktober ini ga terhitung berapa judul lagu yang gue denger, mungkin diatas lima ratus. Dan diantara lima ratus lebih itu, lagu-lagu dibawah inilah yang dianggap mewakili hidup gue di Oktober sibuk.
Lagu-lagu dibawah ini, buat gue, mungkin lebih dari hanya sekedar lagu. Lagu-lagu dibawah ini pesan kehidupan. Hohoho. Check this out Mumble!


1.Unwell

Click here to download this song

Artist: Matchbox 20
Genre: Pop
Telling about: Lonely, Mental Disorder, Breakdown, Refusing, Faith, Love Sickness, Hope.
Hook Lyric:
-All day staring at the ceiling, Making friends with shadows on my wall
-All night hearing voices telling me, That I should get some sleep
-I can hear them whisper, and it makes me think there must be something wrong, with me
-But I’m not crazy, I’m just a little unwell
Like: Seluruh elemen lagunya, dari mulai Karakter vocal sang vokalis (Rob Thomas), Lirik lagunya, feel yang dibangun lirik-liriknya (contoh: “And I know, I know they’ve all been talking ‘bout me” menggambarkan perasaan tidak nyaman), Jalan ceritanya, videonya, hingga musiknya.
View lyric: Here

Comment:

Ya, memang lagu ini lagu jadul. Gue sendiri denger lagu ini pertama kali tahun 2003, waktu itu matchbox 20 jadi salah satu nominasi untuk MTV Asia Music Awards sebagai best pop artist (bersama Simple Plan dan Blue). Tetapi biarpun lagu lama, lagu ini gue anggap mewakili semua perasaan "inferior" yang gue punya. Perasaan terkucil, perasaan kesepian, perasaan diremehkan.
Dan satu lagi, reff lagu ini, sangat ingin gue tujukan untuk liliput pertama, yang entah mengapa akhir-akhir ini mempunyai sudut pandang yang kurang baik tentang gue.

Reff lagu ini, benar-benar mewakili:

But I’m NOT crazy, I’m just a little unwell

I know, right now you can’t tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you’ll see, a DIFFERENT SIDE of me

I’m not crazy, I’m just a little impaired

I know, right now you don’t care

But soon enough you’re gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Oke, sekarang mungkin gue ga dipeduliin. Tapi siapa tahu apa yang akan terjadi di nanti?



2.Shamrock

 Click here to download this song

Artist: UVERworld
Genre: J-Rock
Telling About: Spirit, Hope, Optimistic.
Hook Lyric:
-Anata hi boku ga nigirishimeta yume
-Daki yosetai yo to negau koe mo
Like: Lagunya, Karakter vocal sang vokalisnya, kombinasi Pop, Rock, dan Rap Nya.
View lyric: Here

Comment:

Memang ga bsia dipungkiri, kecintaan gue ma musik diawali oleh lagu-lagu dari jepang sana. Mungkin karena kebiasaan nonton anime, yang lagu opening dan endingnya memang bagus-bagus banget. Lagu Shamrock ini juga hanya salah satu dari ribuan lagu jepang yang pernah gue denger dan suka. Tapi khusus untuk shamrock, lagu ini dari awal sampai akhirnya udah merupakan satu kesatuan. Seru. Melodinya dari awal bisa dinikmati, dan kombinasi antara musik rock dan musik rapnya top abis, sekaligus lucu, dimana kata FIGHT malah terdengar jadi FAITO. Terlebih lagi mengingat bulan oktober merupakan bulan sibuk dan rawan dengan stress, lagu-lagu bergenre pop rock yang berenergi sudah pasti menjadi porsi utama dalam playlist gue. Cukup untuk membuat semangat bertahan satu jam (saja).

3.My lover

Click here to download this song (Japanese version)

Artist: Younha
Genre: Pop
Telling About: Love, Moment, Joyful
Hook Lyric:
- I wondered why tears just came out, then I realize that, definatelty , I’m crazy over you
- Sitting on a park bench under the glow of the sunset, the time limit draws near, suddenly I feel your hand touch. and the all world’s time seems to stop.
Like: Lirik lagunya, Suara sang vokalisnya, ekspresi vokalis ketika menyanyikan lirik “I’m growing up a little bit, It’s my first love, so don’t laugh”
View lyric: Here

Comment:

Seharusnya sih ini lagu cewek. Tapi entah mengapa gue suka. Mungkin karena suara Younha memang top abis, atau mungkin malah karena khayalan gue sendiri. Yah, gue sering mengkhayal ada cewek yang nyanyiin lagu ini buat gue. Senang aja rasanya ngebayangin itu. Apalagi yang liriknya lucu seperti ini:

When I wore skirt

You looked surprised

“What’s up with that?” you suddenly asked

But without even looking you in the eyes

I ran off

Hohoho :)


4.A whole new world

Click here to download this song

Artist: Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey
Genre: Pop
Telling About: Love, Feeling
Hook Lyric:
-A whole new world, a new fantastic point of view, no one to tell us no or where to go or say we’re only dreaming
Like: Duetnya, Suara kedua penyanyinya.
View lyric: Here

Comment:

Soundtrack film-film disney memang rasanya udah wajib jadi favorit gue. Dimulai dari lion king yang "I just can't wait to be king", lagu tarzan yang "You'll be in my heart", Lagu Brother bear yang "Look through my eyes", sampai yang jadi favorit gue sebelum ini, "Part of your world" nya litte Mermaid. Ga banyak komen lagi deh, lagu "A whole new world (soundtrack Aladin)" ini memang udah bagus dari semua lini, suara penyanyinya oke, liriknya dalam, easy listening, improvisasi penyanyinya juga membuat lagu ini rasanya selalu menimbulkan kesan tiap habis didengerin. Jadi pengen lihat penyanyinya live deh.


5.Weightless

Click here to download this song

Artist: All Time Low
Genre: Pop Punk
Telling About: Bored of

Hook Lyric:

-Maybe it’s not my weekend, but, it’s gonna be my year
-I wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough
-Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t want to waste another minute here
Like: Musiknya, Lagunya,
View lyric: Here

Comment:

Gue suka lagu ini karena gue memang suka ma genre musik "Pop Rock". Gue juga suka hampir semua lagu dari dua album All time Low yang terakhir dan gue juga jadi ga punya alasan menolak lagu yang ada di track pertama di album "nothing personal" ini sebagai lagu favorit.
Belum lagi mengingat hampir di setiap frase dalam liriknya, menggambarkan bagaimana jalannya bulan Oktober gue.

-Maybe it’s not my weekend, but, it’s gonna be my year (menggambarkan weekend gue yang sering buruk)
-I wanna feel weightless, and that should be enough (menggambarkan keadaan gizi gue yang ga cukup gara-gara jadwal kuliah yang penuh)
-Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t want to waste another minute here (menggambarkan perasaan gue ketika kuliah. Bawaanya bosan terus, dan ga tahan pengen cepat-cepat keluar kelas hehe)

***
Well, gimana daftar lagunya? bagus-bagus kan? hohoho, mumpung ujian udah habis dan bulan oktober juga udah mau berganti, saatnya download lagu baru. Saatnya cari soundtrack bulanan yang keren-keren lagi. Dan yang paling penting, saatnya membuat hidup ini berarti.

Semangat akhir pekan :)

For Your Viewing Pleasure: Vampyr

For a while at least, the good folks at Hulu.com have made Carl Theodor Dreyer's horror classic Vampyr available for viewing. And how do you know it's a classic? Why, because it received Katie Award nominations for best foreign language picture and best director—it must be good.

Just part of our ongoing mission here at the Monkey to cram a little culture down your throat.

And now with limited commercial interruption, Vampyr.

Nominees For Best Picture Of 1932-33 (Comedy/Musical)

Dinner At Eight (prod. David O. Selznick)

Duck Soup (prod. Herman J. Mankiewicz)

42nd Street (prod. Darryl F. Zanuck)

Gold Diggers Of 1933 (prod. Jack L. Warner and Robert Lord)

Trouble In Paradise (prod. Ernst Lubitsch)

Best Picture Of 1932-33 (Foreign Language): Zero For Conduct (prod. Jean Vigo)

Considering that by the end of 1933 the Nazis had all but shuttered the German film industry and that the Depression had crippled the rest of Europe's studios, the field of contenders for best foreign language picture of 1932-33 is remarkably deep:

●Boudu Saved From Drowning, a comedy by Jean Renoir, is ostensibly the story of a suicidal bum fished from the waters of the Seine, but is really a biting satire about the unsatisfying nature of charity when the object of your care won't transform himself into your image.

●Also released in 1932 was Carl Theodor Dreyer's Vampyr, which our friend Erik Beck of the Boston Becks ranks seventh on his list of the all-time greatest horror films, writing "Dreyer does far more with mood and atmosphere than with the kind of effects laden vampire crap that modern directors use."

●Liebelei is an exquisite romance by the master of moody, doomed love, Max Ophüls, who would go on to direct such masterpieces as Letter From An Unknown Woman and The Earrings Of Madame de ....

●And then there's The Testament Of Dr. Mabuse, Fritz Lang's sequel to his 1922 film Dr. Mabuse The Gambler. The Nazis took Lang's story of an insane criminal mastermind who controls his victims through hypnosis as a criticism of Hitler and his henchmen—it was—and Lang fled Germany shortly after production was completed.

I'm a fan of each of these films and, depending on my mood, I could champion any of them—you might particularly want to track down Vampyr as Halloween approaches—but this week I'm going with Jean Vigo's funny, poetic and influential look at life in a boy's boarding school, Zero For Conduct.

If you put the Our Gang comedies, Animal House and The Dead Poets Society in a blender, strained out the sentimentality and added a dash of Jean-Paul Sartre, Charlie Chaplin and Luis Buñuel, you'd get either a really awesome smoothie or Zero For Conduct (Zéro de conduite). The film's French subtitle, Jeunes Diables au Collège—"Little Devils At School"—is a pretty accurate description of the story's nominal heroes, three scamps, maybe age ten, who plot to take over their rundown school during a Commemoration Day ceremony and pelt the faculty with garbage.

"War is declared! Down with teachers! Up with revolution!"

And revolution is just what this school needs. With the exception of a newly-hired instructor (Jean Dasté) who imitates Chaplin and does handstands in class, the boys' teachers—led by a wizened dwarf with a preposterous beard and a hat he keeps under glass—are a wholly unsympathetic collection of spies, toadies, dimwits, bores and martinets, as small in spirit as the dean is in body. The boys rebel at every turn, instigating food fights (the cook serves nothing but beans) and pillow fights before finally leading the full-scale insurrection that caps this brief forty-one minute film.

"Zero For Conduct," wrote Terrence Rafferty for New Yorker magazine in 1990, "was a celebration of the pure freedom of children's imaginations, a stirring expression of resistance to the forces of authority and order—to anything that would impose discipline on the diverse, unruly energy of play." Nearly eighty years after it was made, "Zero For Conduct still seems ... like one of the few truly subversive movies ever made."

But while planning for "revolution" provides a unifying theme, the narrative of Zero For Conduct is primarily episodic, as life generally is at the age of ten, with director Vigo taking time to remember moments that a kid would find important—playing a toy trumpet with your nose, smoking purloined cigars, following an absent-minded teacher through the streets, chasing him as he tries to introduce himself to a pretty woman, then somehow getting sidetracked as they mistake a priest's flapping cassock for the girl's skirt.

At times Zero For Conduct reminded me of Yasujiro Ozu's I Was Born, But ..., the 1932 Japanese silent film about two school age brothers who play hooky, fake test scores and bribe a delivery boy to beat up the local bully. Of that movie I wrote "It's not that nothing happens, it's that nothing feels as if it's made to happen simply to satisfy the mechanics of plot."

Think of how the quest for the Red Ryder BB gun in A Christmas Story pulls together what are otherwise unrelated episodes in the life of little Ralphie Parker, and you'll get an idea of how Vigo uses talk of revolution to weave the various threads of Zero For Conduct into a single tapestry.

Visually, Zero For Conduct almost plays as a documentary, with most of the movie shot on location. Vigo comments on the action and the players with the placement of his camera, often photographing the students from below, emphasizing their oversize sense of their own maturity, while shooting their instructors from high-angle positions which tends to diminish them in our eyes. Vigo was a key figure in a loosely-defined movement called "Poetic Realism," which focused on marginalized characters, told stories tinged with nostalgia and fatalism, and relied on "heightened aestheticism" to emphasize the "representational aspects" of the film. No, I don't know what that means either, but I do recognize that there is a look and feel in the films of Jean Vigo that reminds me of Jean Renoir, Julien Duviver and Marcel Carné—like Vigo, members of the Poetic Realism movement—whose films were highly naturalistic in their look yet which featured action that clearly was scripted and staged.

As the film continues, though, Vigo also plays around with surrealism, which was still a hot ticket item in Europe. In addition to the films of Luis Buñuel, several directors working in France had taken stabs at the form including René Clair, Germaine Dulac, Jean Epstein, Man Ray and Jean Cocteau, and Jean Vigo underscores his theme of rebellion against convention with several surreal scenes—a teacher's drawing comes to life, sheepishly transforming itself, as the lone sympathetic teacher is rebuked by a colleague, from a man in swim trunks into the cloaked visage of Napoleon; a student does a slow-motion backflip into a chair; and a professor is tied to his bed and suspended from the wall while he sleeps. There's also one brief, surprising shot of full-frontal male nudity, not in the least sexual, more in the tradition of "I wave my private parts at your auntie," which I suspect was Vigo's way of giving French authorities the finger.

The spirit of rebellion that infuses Zero For Conduct was not lost on French authorities—after the film's premiere on April 7, 1933, it was banned and was not shown again in France until February 1946, nearly twelve years after Vigo's untimely death.

I confess it took more than one viewing for me to appreciate Zero For Conduct—I carried into my first viewing certain Hollywood-bred expectations of what should/would happen and I kept waiting for the predictable plot-twists and the ending wrapped up with a bow. It wasn't until the second time through that I allowed myself to enter into the spirit of the thing and remember what it was really like to be a kid. Sometimes as adults we forget how momentous little episodes are to children and to their development, and while you know that in one sense nothing will change after the boys have taken over the school, in more important ways, everything will change as their perceptions of themselves will forever be altered—there's a big difference between being someone who "could" do a thing and being someone who "has done" that thing.

Zero For Conduct was a flop at the box office, won no awards and was barely seen outside of Paris until after World War II, yet it directly influenced Francois Truffaut's greatest film, The 400 Blows, and the French New Wave generally. That's pedigree enough for me.

Born in Paris in 1905, Jean Vigo was the son of the French anarchist Eugeni Bonaventura de Vigo i Sallés, better known as Miguel Almereyda. When Vigo was twelve, his father was arrested and later murdered in his prison cell, presumably by his jailers. Hustled out of Paris, Vigo was educated under an assumed name in the south of France, yet despite the outrage he felt for French authorities, Vigo found things to love—his fellow students, later his wife and friends—and he found ways to translate that tenderness into film. Suffering from the tuberculosis he had contracted at the age of twenty-one, Vigo literally worked himself to death, directing his follow-up film, L'atalante from a stretcher and dying a few months after its completion in 1934.

Postscript: To my knowledge, Zero For Conduct is not readily available in the U.S. There are better copies floating around the internet, but at least I can show this battered, murky print legally.

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